| MATH QUIZ/QUESTION FOR ALL YOU SMART KIDS: |
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| 01:17pm 11/02/2008 |
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music: Broken Glass-John Biz
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If you have a town of seven people, and you have census data saying that (A) the average household size is 1.4 people; (B) the percentage of family households is 20%; and (C) the percentage of households with unmarried partners is 20%, how many people of the seven are married and how many aren’t?
(PS. I don't know the answer. This is for my job. Who knew I would actually need math in real life? God damn it. Don't tell Mrs. Chetkovitch she was right.) |
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| ice cream analogy |
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| 02:14pm 11/01/2008 |
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God, you know, some days everything's shitty but then some days, everything just seems to go right! Today's one of the latter days, and I'm trying really hard to appreciate it, because I know how quickly this feeling can evaporate. But right now, I'm pretty much on top of the world. It's been good news followed by good news today!
It's like, when you have ice cream, and you're like "Man! This ice cream is awesome!" But then somebody adds caramel, and you go "Wow! This is even better! Yum!" and then you turn to talk to somebody, and when you look back, there are, like, sprinkles or gummi bears or strawberries on there, and you're like "Christ man! This ice cream was bitchin to start with, but now it fucking rocks!" That's kind of what today has been like. Just all sorts of good news. |
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| Eleven years in a leaky boat... |
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| 12:52pm 16/11/2007 |
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mood:  anxious music: pandora quickmix
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Christ almighty. This article literally makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, reading a story about how disabled people are warehoused, left to die, people with Down's Syndrome shackled to chairs for dozens of years... that was bad enough. That was horrific. But then towards the bottom of the article, you learn that all these hospitals are brand new, built with NATO money after the Serbian bombing of the 90s. So not only are these disabled people (and children) being tortured and treated like animals, they are being treated that way willfully and with intent. It's bad enough to treat the least-well-off in your society horribly when you don't have the resources to care for them-- that's absolutely reprehensible, but doesn't even begin to approach the level of disgust and physical revulsion I feel for a society that has brand, spanking new facilities and yet doesn't feel any need to utilize them for the good of the disabled. I can't even get out the words to express how this makes me feel. Like, I know horrible things are happening all over the place, all the time, and most of the time I can explain it away or at least put it into some perspective. But this just seems so evil, so willfully malicious, to have brand new hospitals and equipment given to you and to use it to torture the weakest, most vulnerable members of your society. A 7-year-old girl with fluid in her brain left untreated “because she will die anyway.” These are your tax dollars at work.
And this is a country that's attempting to join the EU. I guess the only bright point is, when those nasty continentals point out all our US human rights abuses we'll have a biggie to throw back at them. Woo? |
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| Word of the Day: Houghmagandie |
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| 02:56pm 07/11/2007 |
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Houghmagandie. N.
Definition: The act of sexual intercourse or fornication, particularly of a jovial or sportive nature.
I mean, really. Not only is it an amazing word in and of itself (say it out loud!), but the definition just kills me. Fornication of a jovial nature? Oh man. I find it amazing and wonderful that a word exists just to describe that. |
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| A Scene from my Life |
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| 09:26am 22/10/2007 |
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So my mom has my IM screen name now, and talks to me fairly frequently on it. It's fine, mostly, although it does mean that I have to censor links and away messages sometimes, which sucks. But so it goes. However, it does lead to HILARIOUS exchanges like what happened yesterday.
MOM: I just love your away messages! I get these tantalizing little glimpses of what you're doing! Like yesterday, you had up that "Peter Hillary is a badass." [I'm working on a documentary about Mt. Everest.] I told your father about it and he said, "That's a horrible thing to say!" but I told him, "No, honey, I'm pretty sure that's a good thing, badass is a good thing to be."
Wow. Priceless. Can I reiterate how much I love my parents? |
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| the doublejay digest |
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| 09:36am 19/10/2007 |
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music: Pandora- Crack the whip- the spinto band
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All right! Mega-update-time! Things occuring in Janet's life, in no particular order--
!. Looking for an apartment is a bitch. Especially when you want to get a dog, as I do. Especially when you're poor. Especially when you're living with really wealthy family who keep giving you unhelpful, out-of-your-price-range advice. But it's also exciting. I can't wait to get a place, (my own place!) where I don't have to deal with other people's shit all the time. I can't wait to get a place that I get to decorate exactly how I want, where I get to buy all the furniture and all the stuff on the walls and paint and make it look pretty. And get a puppy!
@. I just finished 2 weeks of absolute hell. I had a massive project dumped on me at work, and I also had four stories for various newspapers and magazines in the Knoxville area due, all within a five day period. It was ridonkulous. I almost died. Thank god for hot tubs, my InterX Musculoskeletal Stimulator and benzodiazapines, or I never would have been able to push through the pain and finish it all. But finish I did! And there will be more articles by yours truly coming out in the Knoxville News-Sentinel, the Greater Knoxville Business Journal, and Everything West! soon.
#. Also, night before last I was interviewed on PlayboyU Satellite Radio about my advice column (Everything You Need To Know About...). It was weird and short and they called me over an hour later than they said they would, so I ended up being interviewed for less than five minutes at 12.45 at night. Nonetheless, it was good exposure (pun not actually intended).
$. Important (not-really)hypothetical question: Assume that you're poor, but you have some savings that you can spend if you so choose. Assume that one of your friends is going to be in Istanbul in a month, for five days. Assume you're extremely ill-traveled and that the idea of going to Istanbul makes your heart happy. Also, assume that you have a chronically injured back, and the flights back and forth will seriously kick your ass, possibly so much that the trip in-between won't be much fun (but, on the other hand, you do have sleeping pills and vicodin and benzos...). I don't know. Assume you will only have to pay for your plane ticket and food, the hotel room is taken care of. Also, side note, assume that since things have been dicey between Turkey and the Iran lately, your mom *really* doesn't want you to go.
Do you go? Please advise me. Because I really, really can't decide. |
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| east coast fuck you |
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| 12:54pm 10/10/2007 |
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mood:  pissed off music: transcription
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I'm in SUCH a shitty mood right now. I just called Aekta and cried to her over my lunch hour about everything that's going wrong. I'm not really in the mood to write about it here though, so I don't really know why I'm even mentioning it. Oh well.
Here's my first article! |
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| Exodus 1: King wuz says, evrone lissen up! All teh boy jws go in teh rivr, k? |
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| 08:18pm 04/10/2007 |
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Wow. Just... wow. As a someone interested in mythology and social science, I have just gotten sucked in by the LOLCat Bible.
Take this beautiful story, this myth, this truth, whatever you want to believe. But whatever you believe, you agree that it was written down in one language, translated into, through and out of a bunch of other languages, culled and shaped by an extremely political process of edits and canonical selection... And now translated into the weird mashup of 733+, slang and misspellings we know and love. The entire bible. Christ almighty.
It gets more and more interesting the more I think about it, actually.
Genesis 3:9-10 and then 23-34: The LOLCats Expulsion from the Garden of Eden
9 An' Invisible Man calld unto teh man, an' said unto him, "Where joo at"?
10 An' he said, i heard yo voice in da garden, an' i wuz scurrd, because i wuz nakd and stuff; an' i hide-did.
...
23 Therefore Invisible man sent him forth fum teh garden ov eden ,2 till teh grawnd fum where he wuz t'kn.
24 So he droov out teh man; an' he placd at teh east ov teh garden ov eden teh cherubim and stuff, and teh flaming (lol) sword which turned everywherez. |
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| A Day In The Life... |
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| 07:48pm 04/10/2007 |
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Last night, my editor at the News-Sentinel called me and said, "Could you cover a quick story tomorrow?" I said, Why sure! and busily got my ducks in a row. I went out this morning, wrote the story this afternoon (they sent a photographer out this morning too with me) and it'll be running in the business section of tomorrow's News-Sentinel.
Also, I have articles that'll be coming out in the Knoxville Business Journal and Everything West! soon. And the Playboy where they interviewed me about my advice column is out now: I found out when a bunch of random people started friending me on Facebook and I couldn't figure out why.
The coolest part of getting interviewed for Playboy was that when they mailed me my complimentary copies, Josh, the editor, threw in a complete copy of the 1st issue, the Marilyn Monroe one. That's a really cool thing to own! (And I'm sorry, but the articles *are* interesting!) |
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| 09:46am 20/09/2007 |
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I'M A REPORTER!!!!!111!!!!1
I got four stories assigned to me yesterday. I'm not getting paid all that much, but I'm getting paid. My stories are going to be centerpieces in the business section, when they come out, with photos and web elements and everything.
I pitched stories to two editors. Some of them, they already had people working on. That felt really good, because that had to mean that they were good story ideas. A couple others they said they were going to assign to other writers, because they fell on their beats. But they seemed to like my ideas, and they were really helpful and encouraging.
Whew! |
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| My So-Called Life |
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| 09:23am 19/09/2007 |
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mood:  lonely music: Bob Holmes & U2
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As one aspect of life starts to come to fruition, another part stagnates. Is that the way it is always in life-- adult life, I mean-- or just right now, for me?
Because "professionally," things are going well. Why do I feel such a need to put that in quotes? Because I don't feel like a professional, because I don't feel like a grownup. Yet last week I had a meeting with the president of the Knoxville News-Sentinel; the editor of the Knoxville Business Journal; the editor of the business section of the paper. [I'm going to be freelancing.] We had dinner at the country club last week and I may have networked my way into writing a case study for one of the biggest architecture firms in the county. The playboy with my interview came out last week. [For those not 'in the know,' Playboy interviewed me about my advice column for their college issue. Choice quote? "People at Carnegie Mellon don't need advice on how to put on a condom. They need advice on how not to creep girls out.") All of these things are very exciting.
They're very exciting.
But I'm really not that excited.
I know I have to do it. I know that it would be stupid to leave because these are the kind of contacts and opportunities that would take five years to develop anywhere else. I know that it's hard to make new friends in a new place and that any new place would pose the same problems etc. etc. etc. etc.
But that doesn't change the fact that I've been here for almost two months and I have yet to make a single friend. And, more than that, I really don't want to do the scene right now. I don't know where there are people like me here and I don't know how to figure it out and I don't really want to force myself to go sit places by myself.
On the plus, I'm getting a lot of reading done! And I'm learning to play the first Regina Spektor album on my cousin's Steinway. |
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| (Hint: my product was rull dirty.) |
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| 03:24pm 11/09/2007 |
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This is the most amazing movie you will ever see. Please comment and tell me what product you were thinking of by the end of the movie. Trust me, it's worth your time to watch. (Thanks to Miranda.)
**EDIT** It should work now. Watch it. **END EDIT** |
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| Knoxvegas Ramblings |
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| 09:30am 06/09/2007 |
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So. Here I am.
The last month has been eye-opening in so many different ways that I don't even know where to start. I've been wanting to post, but it's so hard to get a handle on the mental processes I've been going through and the conclusions I've been coming too. But I'll try. It may be a little rambly but I promise, it's important.
Here's the background. I've been living with my cousin, Larsen, and his wife, Adrian. They are both incredibly nice, wonderful, fun, caring people. Adrian comes from money and would be the kind of person you'd want to hate if she wasn't so goddamn sweet. Their house is enormous and insanely nice (waterfall in back, priceless antique maps hanging everywhere, antique cherokee saddle in my room, etc.) Larsen just got elected to a prestigious leadership thing in Knoxville; basically the two of them are movers and shakers; everyone knows them. Her father is on the board of the University of Chicago and the Art Institute of Chicago, and she's on the board of Union College. These people are definitely a level above me in social status.
Larsen fell off a roof and broke a lot of bones, so every night one of their many friends brings us dinner. Sometimes I get five or ten minutes into a conversation with "Joe" or "Stan" only to realize that I've been talking to the news director of the local ABC affiliate, or to a top criminal attorney (he took care of Cedric Wilson's paternity suits!).
I come into work every day secure that I'm good at what I'm being asked to do, and it's really the first time I've felt like I've been really good at a job right out of the gate. So far I've written two grants to get funding for a documentary about the Tennessee River, assessed two full scripts and a TV proposal, and for the past week I've been watching every documentary about Everest known to man in preparation for writing the pitch for our own Everest documentary. It's like I'm getting paid to have fun and sit and learn. It's fabulous.
But it's lonely here, really lonely. All their friends are extremely nice, but they're all in their mid-30s. I'm working more hours in a row than I ever have before in my life, which means that when I get out of the office at the end of the day I'm hurting so bad I can barely stand.
And since I don't know how they feel about my special medication, I have to hide it from them, which adds more stress and trouble. So now I know: there's no way I can work a full-time job. I'm only working 30 hours a week now (9-4)and I can barely manage that.
On the plus side, Adrian has offered to send my medical history to a friend of hers who is apparently this incredible genius of a doctor. (Her brother was shot in the eye; this doctor operated and now the brother sees better than before. Also, he diagnosed her sister's brain edema over the phone.) If that doesn't work, she said that she'd use her connections at the University of Chicago to get me into the diagnostic wing of their teaching hospital. So that's all promising.
This weekend I'm going to go out and hit the bars, see if I can explore the nightlife a little bit. I'm also going to a UT game (they're crazy for college football here) with a bunch of people from the office, which I'm really looking forward to.
I just don't know if this is the place for me or not. I have job prospects here, unlike anywhere else. I just don't really know how to meet people. Somebody tell me how to make friends in a new small city where you're not a college student! |
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| UPDATE |
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| 06:45pm 08/08/2007 |
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All the heartfelt, loving vibes I was sending out worked. The Mac Genius tried one last thing, and you, valiant J-Pod the IV, rallied! They say if I charge you all night and put all my music back on you from my computer, since your memory is blank, tomorrow you'll be good as new!
I LOVE YOU J-POD THE IV! |
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| Why Murphey (And His Law!) Love Me! |
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| 06:34pm 08/08/2007 |
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mood: crushed
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My dear, sweet Greg surprised me today with an iPod charger for the road, so that J-Pod the IV wouldn't get run-down while I was driving to Knoxville. We hooked it up to check it out, but for some reason it didn't work. So we hooked the J-pod up to the computer, but something still wasn't working. Greg ran to the Apple store while I continued packing.
And? It looks like my J-pod's batteries chose the night before my road trip to die. We've been together since thick and thin, dear J-pod the IV. I thought we'd be together forever. Or if not forever, then at least through this road trip. I had already downloaded a bunch of podcasts, I've abstained from listening to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" in recent weeks, and I've been saving half a dozen new albums, at least, to listen to on the road. Why did it have to be now? Why did it have to be you?!? (Please picture me furiously shaking my fist at the sky.)
I guess I'd better start burning CDs. |
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| Janet's Life Update! |
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| 04:15pm 08/08/2007 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Daily Show
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So, I've been getting ready to schlep back home to Texas, temporarily living with my parents while I look for longer-term employment.
But the legendary Jay klutziness came through! Because of it, I have a job. Let me back up for a second. My cousin Larsen, who lived with my family for a little while as he was getting his start in the movie business, now owns and runs a media production company in Knoxville, TN. Last week (and here's where the "Jay agility" comes in) he fell off the roof of his house. He's OK, thank goodness; though he broke a lot of bones, there aren't any internal injuries or any lasting effects.
So, long story short, I'm going down to Knoxville for anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months to work on doing research for documentaries, grant-writing, production stuff, PR, and pretty much whatever they need me to do to pick up the slack from Larsen being all banged up and in a wheelchair. It's a really great opportunity (they were just nominated for a regional Emmy, and they make a lot of cool documentaries) and I'm psyched to get to do something other than sit around my parents' house being sad and lonely.
So, yeah. From the 'burgh to the 'ville. Adult life begins (I'm going to be living with my cousin and his wife, who are both in their mid-30s, and are pretty well-off, so I'm a little intimidated going into it). I hit the road tomorrow-- if you're in the burgh and you wanna see me off tonight, I'd love to see you. Otherwise, wish me luck and please, stay in touch. I'm sure I'll be visiting soon. |
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| Call me before I get too far, if you want... |
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| 04:35pm 31/07/2007 |
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Pittsburgh Ice Cream Vendor Scuffles With 13 Year Old Because He's Too Fat; Blocks Another Vendor, Cusses and Threatens Her In Front of Customers, and Slashes Her Tires
In other news, I'm only in the house (the CBH) for another day or two. Then I'm staying with Greg for a few more days (maybe three or four) to get some things taken care of, and then I'm on the road back to Dallas. I'm going to be stopping through Louisville for a night and Memphis for a night or two, I don't really know yet (can you tell I really have no idea what's going on?) and then it's back to dear Allen.
Wow are my feelings mixed. They're mostly negative, I have to admit. Who's even left in Allen, besides Aekta? All my friends have moved to Austin. And then there's my family, which is a whole other issue. We get along great for about two weeks.
Let's just hope I find a job soon. On that front-- as always, it seems-- there are some extremely promising leads which may or may not lead anywhere. I am coming from a very different place experience-wise than a lot of people, which makes it hard. Anybody know of any good writing, editing, nonprofit or PR jobs, or some combination thereof? Something that wouldn't make me hate getting up every morning and going to work, but that would pay a salary I can live on? Oh yeah, and that pesky health insurance. See, I need that.
But anyhoo. It's hot as a bitch here, I've been packing and moving for days and my eczema is the worst it's ever been. I have to leave all my friends and I'm not really ready. But life moves on and I can't stay here, so I just hoist the pack on my aching back and trudge on down that road. |
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